Dyanne Thorne Week: Isa She-Devil of the S.S.

"I said you would not return to the camp as before.
I made no promise beyond that."

Recently at Love Train for the Tenebrous Empire, Empress Kate was discussing how to determine the fapability of Nazi characters¹—i.e. can you, in good conscience, masturbate to a particular Nazi character? It was widely recognized that where female Nazis are concerned, there is no real decision to be made. Kate has a flow chart for male Nazis, so here is mine for females:

Here is where we get to Ilsa: She-Wolf of the S.S. in the form of Dyanne Thorne.

Dyanne is certainly fapable. From Sin in the Suburbs to Real Men, Chesty Anderson, USN to the four Ilsa films, she is a sex bomb. We'll look at the movie, but part of the problem with Ilsa is "why is she sexy" and "why is that acceptable?" Obviously, I am no prude. I'm an atheist who reads the Marquis de Sade and runs a mildly pornographic blog. So, I'm not judging, just questioning.

Dyanne Thorne has a great body: fact. Ilsa is a tough chick with powerful sexual desires: fact. Both are typically seen a) in a sexy uniform, b) in lingerie, or c) bare assed. The problem is that Ilsa is evil. Not the dog kicking, rob you, get you fired kind of evil. We are talking genocidal, medical experimenting, genital mutilating, electrodes up the hoo-hah evil. Sure, it is all fake, and her victims tend to be the likes of Uschi Digard, but shouldn't this detract from her sexiness? My mind says "yes", but an equally willful part of me says "no."

Perhaps it is not the acts which we perceive, but the sense of depravity. "This chick will do anything," our libido says. And our libidos are attracted to chicks who will do anything. Oh that wacky reptilian brain!

The important things to know about Ilsa are a) well, she's a crazy bitch, b) she is a "scientist" who is convinced women have a higher pain threshold than men (this is likely), and c) she has never been satisfied by a man. This last part, as you can imagine, is her downfall. The evil Nazi succubus must be tamed by the American cock-master, a man who can withhold his orgasm indefinitely.

As in the three Ilsa films we'll see here (I have never seen Tigress of Siberia), Ilsa has her posse, typically near twin chicks who are just dying to make her happy. Her two main assistants are even Thorne look-alikes of sorts, and do much of the dirty work. In She-Wolf of the S.S., she also has a third assistant; a rather hideous looking female guard who wants to prove she is one of the guys.

Ultimately Ilsa can't quit her new American stud, and is hurt that she cannot seem to bring him to orgasm. She takes it out on the other prisoners, but finally gets so out of whack that the prisoners lead a revolt.

And now, without further ado... Titties and gore!

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